I always think that I will not bother any longer by the friendship issue after going through so many incomprehensible situations, but I am wrong. It’s a lifelong homework for me to learn and deal with.
I have one kind of friend who is always caring for me but not asking me much. Once I have something bad happened, he will put my situation in mind or express some encouraged words to me. I would even hardly define each other as intimate friends because we seldom meet with each other, nevertheless, I know deeply in mind that he is a lifelong friend and a real friend indeed.
I have another kind of friend who is always interested in me and asking me frequently. Once I have something bad happened, he will first know it by asking me directly or someone else. I even could define each other as intimate friends because I am always asked by personal news and will answer it honestly, nevertheless, I know deeply in mind that he will always say that “I will support you" but be the one to judge me easily and quickly in the meantime; moreover, he will make the personal issue as public one after I asked him to respect my will to prefer private.
I have the other kind of friend who shows consideration for me but caring more for himself, i.e. a kind of self-care friend. Once I have something bad happened, he will express his caring but then talk more of his personal issue, meanwhile, I suddenly find out that I am defined as his intimate friend after I listen to his situation with most of my time. He will keep finding me and asking my recent news, because he really needs someone to listen to but doesn’t want to show self-care. Finally, the only thing I can do for him is praying for him and avoiding him as much as possible, and hope that he could realize and walk out this repeated situation by himself. Actually, he is the only one, himself, to help him out, and I will be the only one blamed for not showing up.
The lifelong homework for me in friendship issue is saying grace and forgiveness. Saying grace to those real frineds in my life but immediately forgiving those bothering me much and going on. I pray God give me the wisdom to handle it well……